Hey there, Livejournal. Long time no type.

Not much has been happening in my life, aside from work, work, work.

I won't be at SMS after this week due to redistricting, but I have a job for next year with a friend whom I adore. That's more than I would ever hope to ask for.

I'm slowly replacing appliances around the house. I won't be working over the summer, so mayhaps I can actually get something done.

A crush a long time past is resurfacing, and that's awful. Nothing good will come of it; only jealousy will arise, and that's something I do not need in my life. I have enough stress as it is without inflicting it upon myself.

My dogs are still crazy. Tiger's sick, though, and I don't know how to make her feel any better. As much as I love her, I cannot afford a vet visit. She was sick like this about three weeks ago, though, and her health improved then, so I'm hoping that the case will be much the same this time.

Laura's visit was pleasant. She was surprisingly mellow. It must be the bipolar meds. I've never seen her act that calm. It's a nice change. I hope she makes it through the rest of rehab without too much issue. She sought me out and gave me a huge before she left; I didn't expect that.

Finals are this week. I'm trying to work up the urge to create reviews and games for my classes to study before then. I feel particularly lazy today. I'll get it done, but damn, procrastination has chosen a bad time to strike me.

This summer, I want to write a book, even if no one will ever read it. I'm out of practice when it comes to writing, imagining, dreaming. I want to do something that does not involve strict deadlines and requirements of success.

I also want to lose weight and cosplay again.

That is all.

I don't know if I should be a teacher. I don't know what else I could do, though. I'm not qualified for anything.

There's no fucking way I'm going to have anyone at my graduation ceremony. It's apparently the one for NSU BA, but that includes all colleges. That means my dad won't be able to attend because he no longer has the attention span to leave the house for that long, and Mom won't be able to go because she'll have to watch Dad. I have no one else. I fucking hate NSU right now.

I hate everything about this stupid college.

Today's a bad day. I'm sick. Feisty died.

When I let the puppies in from outside, Gremlin ran to get my attention, brought me to Feisty, settled down beside her, and proceeded to cry. I think that made this whole thing hit home more than anything else.

Rest in peace, my crazy, loving, loyal friend. I hope you are shielded from any further hurt wherever you have gone.

Well, my van's inoperable for a while. A severe wreck was certainly a wonderful way to start the day.

I honestly think the stress from this week is going to kill me. It's just one fucking thing after another.

Around 2:15 AM, I awoke to my entire room shaking. My bed was trembling, and my various swords and electronics were moving across the surfaces on which they were stationed. A few books and DVDs even fell off of my shelves.

I live on the second floor above the garage in my house, so naturally, the first thought that came to my sleep-addled, paranoid mind was this: "I really hope my room isn't shaking because the support beams are collapsing." I did not really sleep after that incident, but I was too tired to go check on the matter (that, and I did not want to alert my five pit bulls and one border collie to my activities). Thankfully, the support beams were still intact this morning, and I did not imagine the entire thing.

For the first time in my life, I felt an earthquake. Apparently, it registered as a 4.7 on the Richter scale. The epicenter was about eighty miles from where I live, possibly a bit less as the crow flies.

Give me tornadoes, floods, ice storms, or wildfires, and I am not phased at all by their occurrence. That earthquake was unnerving. We just don't have stuff like that happen around here; it's only recently become a minor concern in Oklahoma. I don't know if it was just because it startled me awake or what, but I don't think I want to experience another earthquake any time soon. Here's to hoping my preference will be noted so that I can get a bit of sleep this evening, as opposed to last night.

Also, on a completely unrelated note, my "Batgirls - Inked" picture on deviantART seems to be getting a ton of favorites recently. That makes me really happy. I worked on that piece for a really, really long time.

I feel so awkward talking to anyone nowadays. My social skills are nonexistent, it seems.

Also, I am never going to trust an acquaintance ('cept Joey or Scott; they're the exceptions) who claims they can fix my laptop ever again. It has been two and a half weeks, and I still don't have it back. They made it sound like it would be a one or two day repair, and now I can't even get in touch with them. I know they have lives, but so do I. Even if it's not fixed, I need my laptop back so that I can do Tokyo in Tulsa shit--both for the con and for me while I am working at the con. Having art done is the only way for me to make any money this summer since no one will fucking hire me. Right now, though, I just feel like I've been scammed. I really hope that is not the case.

Things like this are not good for the trust issues I already have.

Seriously. SO. MUCH. RAGE.

And frustration.

But mainly RAGE.

Well, that's it. No one reads this anyway, so it's not like it really matters if I type more. I've fallen out of touch with so many people that I barely know or talk to anyone on LJ now. Huh.

::EDIT::

Oh, and look! Family drama. Again. This really doesn't surprise me, considering my sister is here and likes to start crap.